WE LIVE IN A MOMENT IN TIME

[By Becoming Better Men contributor Garth Clarricoats]

“We Live in a moment in time” is the theme of tomorrow night’s meeting of New Plymouth’s Becoming Better Men group.

Becoming Better Men is a group for all Men regardless of background, faith, ethnicity or culture who experience loneliness or isolation as a result of a personal crisis, relationship problems, family violence, depression, bullying, loss and so on. The only condition of membership is that you don’t want to be in that space any more – that you want to grow and learn how to be a BETTER MAN.

Tomorrow night's meeting (Thursday 29 September) will be held at the Taranaki Disability Information Centre on Young Street
in New Plymouth between 7.15pm and 9.00pm. The meeting will be facilitated by Garth Clarricoats.

Garth has this to say:

We live in a moment in time.

In the past there have been many such moments in time. In the future there will be many more...

And there is this one – this moment in time

Do we use this moment in time to reflect on the past?

Or do we use it to dream of the future?

Because; when this moment in time is done; it is gone. We will not have this moment again.

How will you use this Moment in Time

knowing that, in just a moment, it will be gone forever?

Come join us tomorrow night – bring a friend – everyone is welcome.

For further information, phone/text Garth on 021512628 or Craig on 0275020095.

See you there.

URGENT: WRONG DATE GIVEN FOR NEXT MEETING

Okay, so computers and technology still have their vulnerabilites - that is, they are as accurate (or perhaps I should say 'inaccurate') as the person driving them.

Yes, I made an error in the last post re the date of the Group's next meeting which is:

29 September 2011.

Yes, our next meeting will take place on September 29 (not September 22 as previously advertised) at the Taranaki Disability Information Centre (Young Street, New Plymouth) between 7.15 and 9.00pm.

The group is for all Men regardless of background, faith, ethnicity, culture etc - but especially those who have experienced relationship problems, family violence, depression, loneliness, bullying, loss; or those who are simply looking for fellowship and support in a growth environment. 

Do you have what it takes? 

Are you a Real Man?

Then we look forward to seeing you there!

 

For further information contact either Garth at 021512628 or Craig at 0275020095.

All are welcome and we encourage you to bring a friend.

NO MASKS AT THIS MEETING

It was great to hear and share the heartfelt experiences of Men in such an open and present way as we did last night. It's good to see that Men can arrive at the venue and leave their 'Masks' outside.

And I'm sure if you passed by the Taranaki Disability Information Centre in New Plymouth this morning you might have seen some of those discarded Masks still there... forgotten and never to be worn again.

Okay, so I'm not talking about real Masks - these discarded masks are the symbolic ones that Men wear as discussed in the previous two posts on this Blog site:

 
MEN AND THE MASKS THEY WEAR and THE MASKED MAN.

The point is that the Men who come and share their experiences at the group are creating a space for themselves to achieve incredible growth potential as they begin their own personal journeys towards self-discovery and authenticity.


I am often reminded of Marlon Brando's (The Godfather, Superman) famous quote:

"Any guy can become an actor. It takes a real man to quit". 

MEN AND THE MASKS THEY WEAR: Are we all Superheroes?

Behold we are all superheroes!!!

I believe it because wherever I look I see people wearing masks to hide their true identity – and that’s just like a superhero.

Okay, so maybe we aren’t all superheroes - so why do we feel so compelled to wear masks?

Well, there can be various reasons why people wear masks. For most of us, it is the fear that other people - mainly our friends - will reject the real person behind the mask.

Some of us wear masks to hide hurt, low self-esteem, or anger.

So why do you wear yours???

This week we want you to spend some time exploring why people wear masks. What are they afraid of? Does wearing a mask keep them from being hurt? Does it truly raise their self-esteem or keep them from being angry?

If you are wearing a mask to keep from being hurt or to hide anger, let’s see if you can you find healthier, positive and more open ways to let go of that hurt or anger. Maybe you could talk to someone you trust, write down your feelings in a journal, pray or meditate, write a poem. Perhaps you could combine a number of these suggestions. There is no right way; but it is definitely worth finding out what works for you… and keep doing it!

This week on Thursday evening (8^th August, 2011) at the Taranaki Disability Information Centre on

Young Street, New Plymouth; we’re going to be talking about Men and the Masks they wear. Why don’t you come along – and bring a friend. We start at 7.15pm and finish at 9pm.

For those who cannot attend, here are some thoughts about the Masks Men wear:

THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO IF YOU HAD NO MASK

Can you remember a time when you were younger and when you didn't wear a mask? What were you like then? Many people struggle with the mask of being a follower and doing what other people want them to do, rather than being themselves.

What do you really like to do? Are there certain hobbies/sports/activities that you really like? Rediscover these.

“When I was fifteen I learned how to play the guitar. By the time I was seventeen I was playing in a band. I played every day for the next five years or so… until I met my wife to be. Soon after, as my masks became heavier as my life became more ‘responsible’, I found I was wearing so many masks I forgot who I was underneath. Needless to say, I didn’t play the guitar again for almost 15 years.

Today I’ve managed to cast most of my Masks aside and guess what, I’m playing my guitar again – every day. It’s great to be free.” – Craig.

  

If you are not sure what might grab you, you might want to begin experimenting with healthy and fun activities that sound interesting to you. Join a club, play a sport, volunteer for a charitable organisation - all of these are great ways to meet new people, develop new interests, and rediscover who you really are. Even if certain people may not consider these activities "cool", all that really matters is that you like them.

IT’LL BE GREAT TO REMOVE YOUR MASKS – BUT REMOVE THEM SLOWLY

If you hang out with people who wear masks, walking away suddenly could be a shock to your system as well as theirs. However, if you recognise that you have been wearing masks and realise that you can't completely be yourself around these so-called friends, hopefully you'll desire less and less to be with such people.

Go and start finding friends who let you be yourself, even if they aren't the coolest people in the world.  If they accept you completely, they are the coolest friends you can have (and I bet you won’t find a single mask amongst them).

But while you will find it easy to befriend like-minded people who choose not to wear masks, you shouldn’t completely disregard your old friends. Rather, start to be more honest with them. If they exclude you when you try to be yourself, that's their problem.

Never throw a good friendship away if it can be saved. An authentic man will persist with his old friends while continually trying to be mask-free in their presence. Remember that many people, even your old friends, struggle with letting go of the masks they wear.

Sometimes all it takes is for one person to be honest about it, and that allows the whole group to start to make changes.